From Chaos to Clarity: What I Learned in 3 Weeks of Solo Parenting
Dec 06, 2024I know how hard it is to balance work, parenting, and self-care
when it often feels like you're doing it all alone.
My husband travels a lot for work
and I often find myself being a solo parent during the week.
Recently, he was away for 3 long weeks…
And this was the longest time that he was away from home.
My parents are overseas so I don’t get any hands-on support from them.
I’m not gonna lie - it was not easy and I don’t wanna do this again,
but my 8 year old and I got through it.
I’m going to share the lessons I learned from this experience.
If you’re interested in self-care and stress management ideas,
or just little encouragement to lift up your spirit at a challenging time,
you’re in the right place!
Mornings can be quite chaotic
and they are often the most stressful times
especially if you’re in rush to get to work yourself.
Getting breakfast on the table.
Packing lunch for school.
Making sure your kid is dressed
And got everything ready.
Most importantly,
make sure you’re somewhat presentable
In case you run into another parent!
So what did I do to make it less stressful?
I tried to do the prep work the night before.
My main focus was to do the lunch prep for the next day.
I made sure the lunch box was clean
and started filling the box with fresh fruits & veggies.
Some nights I was too tired to do all the prep,
So it was far from being perfect.
But even a bit of prep the night before
has helped me reduce the stress in the morning.
Asking for help was another thing.
It was not an easy time to receive external help,
So I asked my daughter to help me.
She is old enough to dress herself,
brush her teeth and help herself to some breakfast.
And she even helped me pack her own lunch on many days.
After dropping her off at school,
I spent at least 30 minutes doing yoga & meditation
To calm down my nervous system.
I really couldn’t skip this time.
If I did, I would have carried the stress into the rest of my day.
I know this might not be possible if you need to start work by 9am,
But could you perhaps drop off your child 5 minutes earlier
so that you can have some time to find calm before you start your work?
If mornings seem too difficult,
can you carve out some time
during your lunch break at work to look after yourself?
Or dedicate the first 20 minutes
after your kids go to bed at night to your self-care time?
The key question to be asking yourself is
“How can I make more time for me?”
Instead of saying “I have no time” to yourself.
I cherished the silence at night.
I find it healing.
As a mother of a young child,
We are constantly attending to their need and attention.
Listening to a crying or whiny child is stressful for anybody.
If you have a toddler dealing with big emotions,
I know how exhausting it can be to hold space for them.
After I said goodnight to my daughter,
I chose not to jump on social media,
Nor turned on TV to binge watch something.
I protected the silent time to take care of me.
Taking a bath with Epsom salts,
self-massage with essential oils,
gentle yoga and meditation.
These are just some of many things that help me relax
and get ready for a goodnight sleep.
I had to be very intentional with how to spend very limited time each night.
How are you spending your time every day?
I didn’t get any break except for the time
when my daughter was at school or sleeping
but I still managed to find time for me
because I made it a priority.
Are you making your health and wellbeing a priority?
Or are you constantly putting it down at the bottom of your list?
Perhaps you’re waiting for the perfect time until when X happens.
I don’t want you to keep waiting until your partner returns from his business trip.
Or keep waiting until your child finally sleeps through the night.
What action can you take today to nurture and nourish you?
You can start now, no matter how young your child is.
Sure, it may not look like a fancy day trip to a spa
or yoga retreat right now, but you can start small.
In fact, small things we do every day are more impactful
than what we do every once in a while.
All you need is a desire to feel good.
And make a decision to take one small step that supports your desire.
It’s ok to ask for help.
And it’s time to say no to distraction.
Amping up your self-care time
is the key to manage stress at a stressful time.
This is an opportunity to explore how resilient you’re
and how resilient your child is.
Believe in yourself and believe in your child.
You can get through this.
I believe in you.
If you feel inspired to take your 1st step,
I’d love to hear from you!
I’m in the process of creating a brand-new program
And I’m looking for a small group of mums
to help me design this program with me.
This is an exclusive opportunity
to have your dream program made
and receive more personalised attention from me
with the lowest investment.
If you’d love to find out more,
please click here to go to the "contact page" to enquire today.
Application closing at 12pm on 12th December 2024.
P.S. Have you listened to my secret podcast already?
If you haven’t, CLICK HERE to check out short & sweet episodes!
About the author
Chika is a Yoga Australia registered teacher and a founder of Wa Yoga.
She's been practising yoga since 2008 and teaching since 2014.
She empowers busy mothers of young kids
through online resources and help them create a healthy, balanced lifestyle.
She's a mother of a school-aged daughter
and has helped hundreds of mums, kids and young families
transform their lives through yoga & mindfulness.
